She's Not Enough to Tempt Me
by Heidi Erickson
Summary: Follow Chad's thoughts and feelings towards Sonny throughout some of the best episodes of Season 1. Please read and review! For Danci.


_**She's Not Enough to Tempt Me**_

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_**A/N: DancingRaindrops, this is my one-shot I'm dedicating to you for your birthday and to say…*chokes up* farewell. :') This month is the mark of how long I've been here—a year. But before I became active in fan fiction writing, I was merely a lurker. I remember reading one of my first SWAC fan fictions—Guess Who's NOT Coming to Guest Star!. I loved it so much, even though you didn't. :) And Vocabulary Lessons? Definitely a SWAC fan fiction legend. :D**_

_**I'll never forget the time I took credit for your writing. ;) I consider that the time we became friends. ;D In May, right? :) This month is our six-month friendsversiary. ;D**_

_**I hope it'll never end—it will never end, even if we never see each other again. :) :'( I treasure our friendship, and I'll miss you forever. Please stay the beautiful, artistic, and deeply caring writer, and please start believing in yourself. You are truly gifted. Never doubt that. :')**_

_**By the way, you'll find four certain words of YOUR own that I find to be my favorite VOCABULARY words I've heard from you. ;)**_

_**I hope this one-shot pleases you very much. :D I am refraining from uttering my insecurities on here for your sake. ;) LOL.**_

_**To all readers, please, enjoy this…and review. :D It will mean so much to me! If you don't, then I may have to take my pleas to desperate measures. :P o_O**_

_**Oh, and please note that not everything is accurate according to the episodes; I typed everything out from memory and Wikiquote. :P**_

_**Also…I hope you enjoy my ALTERNATE ending. ;)**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Sonny With A Chance**_**, **__**Pride and Prejudice**__**, or four little vocabulary words. ;)**_

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She is tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

"Chad?" Portlyn asks me impatiently, tapping her little shoe.

I don't answer her. What if Portlyn—airheaded, weepy Portlyn Murray—knows what I'm thinking? She'd mock me for being a romantic sap. It's not my fault I found Pride and Prejudice quite intriguing when I read it for school, and it's not my fault I can memorize lines so well. After all, that is a part of my career, is it not?

"_Chaaaaaad,_" the whiny brunette begs in her high voice. "Tell me, tell me what you think of that new girl from _So Random!_. She's not prettier than me, is she?" She frowns, clearly insecure and threatened by this girl's position on our rival show.

Her? That girl with the dark hair and the dark eyes. What is her name? I don't know.

But I tell Portlyn, "She has no chance on being there."

Tawni Hart, my friend-turned-enemy from Chuckle City, would certainly have that girl running back home crying after the first day.

And Portlyn is not as pretty as her, much less than anyone. But I'm scared of her razor-sharp long fingernails, so I say nothing.

Whoever that tolerable-looking girl is…she has no chance of staying on _So Random!_ for more than a week.

And certainly, most certainly, she has no chance with me.

She's not handsome enough to tempt me.

That mouth is too wide, her bangs too thick, and her chin has an odd cleft…

Those dark brown eyes intrigue me, though.

But I'm not saying.

* * *

No sooner than two weeks, I am surprised to see she still is on _So Random!_!

What the…?

Chad Dylan Cooper is never supposed to be surprised!

At least I found out her name.

I don't really care, though.

Why should I?

Anyway, her name, I heard, is Sonny Munroe.

She told me, in fact. She was right in front of me, in that hideous pink fat suit, and her ridiculously fake wig.

I saw she has fro-yos. I wanted those fro-yos, for free.

Chad Dylan Cooper loves his money.

So I did what Chad Dylan Cooper would do.

I charmed her into distraction.

I flashed her my charming signature smile, and helped the excitedly sputtering brunette find out my name.

Chad Dylan Cooper, starring MacKenzie from _MacKenzie Falls_.

Apparently, she was a fan. A fan from my rival show? Awesome. Those Randoms won't be happy!

"Hi, I'm Sonny," she said to me, grinning widely and holding out her hand.

"Sonny? That's a nice name," I replied, smiling and scribbling my signature on a portrait of me.

I can't believe I told her I liked her name.

It was nice, okay? But I would've never told her so!

And while she was admiring my beautiful face on that picture, I slipped away—with the fro-yos, of course. I hitched her cart and drove off to my set.

I'm brilliant.

* * *

Musical chairs? Really, Sonny, really?

That's a game for kids.

"Well, then it's the perfect game for you." The brunette retorts with a smirk.

OUCH!

Is that what I get after seducing her with these dark, moonlit props and my hands holding hers and my eyes looking deeply into her eyes?

I thought I did a good job with making her forget this whole stupid peace picnic thing!

That trophy was ours. We had a right.

Indignantly, I leave my chair and look over a script.

Then I hear a chicken. What? Chickens aren't allowed on my set!

Oh. It's her. I wrinkle my nose at her, watching her _bawk-bawk-bawk_ on my set.

This isn't good for my reputation.

"Stop it!" I demand with a hiss. But she keeps clucking, provoking me.

She's acting like a fool! A fool, I tell her!

She ignores me. The _nerve_!

"_Fine! Fine!_ I'll take you on musical chairs!" I scream at her.

"_Fine!_ See you at noon!" She yells back.

"Yes, you will!" I snap, feeling an unexpected rush of emotions in me as I stare into her angry brown eyes.

She tempted me. And I told myself she wasn't enough to tempt me!

* * *

She won at musical chairs. She humiliated me, she _tricked_ me!

All because Chad Dylan Cooper had to suddenly care for her own _stupid_ well-being.

And when I tried to coerce her later on into joining _MacKenzie Falls_ after she had a falling-out with her friends, I found myself feeling guilty for my deception.

Good thing those _stupid_ Randoms took her back.

I didn't want her, anyway. She talked way too much.

And she was too funny.

She's not so tolerable now.

The time spent distancing myself from her should be well spent for my own good.

* * *

"You don't care, remember? But I do. Now excuse me while I go out there and embarrass myself."

I watch the despondent-looking Sonny push away her box with her Eric fan costume and walk through the long blue tassel curtains of the stage.

She looks almost tolerable in her bright little dress.

And she looks so disappointed.

And why do I feel sorry for her?

I should just walk away. I shouldn't care.

That weird beard looks interesting, though…

I quickly don the brown jacket, skinny jeans, sneakers, the two thick casts, and that ginger-colored weird beard.

"…I have to say something," Sonny begins her confession, "Eric is—"

"Your biggest fan!" I interrupt, joining her, Marshall Pike, and the others on the stage. And the crowd cheers wildly.

"That's impossible. Eric is not real!" the blonde diva star Tawni insists.

"But I'm standing right here," I reply, avoiding Sonny's shocked stare, "Let's give it up for Sonny!" I announce to the audience, struggling to raise the microphone with my heavily bound arms.

"Why are you helping me?" Sonny whispers, smiling and waving uncertainly at the audience.

"I'm not helping you," I mutter, "I just wanted to try on the beard."

"Hmm, sounds like somebody cares," Sonny grins self-satisfactorily.

"Somebody…wanted to try on a weird beard," I retort nervously.

"Cares."

"Beards."

"Cares."

"Beards."

"Cares."

"Beards."

"Beards."

"Cares…"

"Gotcha," she giggles.

I've been tricked again.

And she tempted me again.

* * *

After slandering Sonny's reputation in the press, I wasn't sure she'd ever want to talk to me again.

But she was persistent; she insisted I tell Santiago Heraldo publicly that I only provoked Sonny to anger, that she wasn't really the diva the press thought she was.

I refused, of course.

And I was tricked again, of course.

_Stupid_ Sonny. She had to secretly film my admission of my trickery.

And I got dog doo on my shoe!

Sonny is still tolerable enough, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

She's much more tolerable than dog doo, though. Far, _far _more!

* * *

_Stupid_ James Conroy. I hate, hate, _hate_ him.

The jerk has my phone!

Oh, yeah, and he's on a date with…Sonny.

"Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?" I repeat incredulously to Tawni.

All of a sudden, I forget the delicious lamb chops on a stick I just ate, and now my stomach feels queasy.

I watch James act his part as the bank robber, tucking and rolling, screaming, "You'll never get me alive!"

Suddenly I wish he'd be gotten _dead_.

And why do I even care? No. This is a situation where Sonny can't tempt me. No way. Not me.

She's not enough to tempt me.

But the thought of Sonny with James is enough.

Later that night, Tawni and I rush over to the diner to crash James and _that stupid Sonny's_ date.

_Stupid _Sonny. She's sitting there with her _stupid_ smile and _stupid_ laugh, letting James flirt shamelessly with her.

Tawni drags Sonny over to the air hockey game table, and James and I watch them play in heated agitation.

Sonny's really mad, I can tell. Well, she deserved getting her date crashed.

She is so naïve.

Stupid _cute_ Sonny.

"Oh, she's so cute when she's angry!" James Conroy exclaimed, staring at Sonny with a creepy lustfulness in his eyes.

His black, beady eyes that I'd like to make even blacker.

"Psh, Sonny's always cute," I interject, hardly believing what I am saying myself, "She can't do anything without being cute."

"_Stupid cute!_" I add on, loathing myself for admitting this to that Conroy cad.

She's not cute enough to tempt me, though, I tell myself.

* * *

But only the next night, stupid _cute _Sonny came up to me and asked me to go on a fake date with her.

She's not the only stupid one.

I'm stupid to be tempted by her for the hundredth time.

We went anyway. And guess what? I actually had a good time with her.

I liked the feel of her soft hair under my neck. She smelled like fresh, cool rain.

And I thought she always smelled like ham.

When she exclaimed gleefully that the Conroy cad wanted her back, I'd never felt more disappointed.

I felt the lamb chops from yesterday's snack tuck and roll in my stomach.

Then Conroy came over—just when those lame Random dudes swept in across from us. They demanded to know answers.

It was a back-to-forth debate. Rainy and Cloudy knew we were fake-dating, but Conroy did not.

So Sonny kissed me. She kissed me!

Finally, Tawni came up and everything was resolved. James the jerk was exposed, and I got my phone back. And don't expect James Conroy to be winning any girls' hearts any time soon.

Everything's all good, right?

Then I found Sonny's kiss just as fake as our date.

Like I said, she's merely tolerable.

But it's time to avoid her more than ever.

It's easier that way not to be tempted.

* * *

Know what?

It's impossible to avoid someone when you work next door from them.

I bump into her, and she's momentarily concerned for the made-up gash I have on my eye. Then she sarcastically remarks about it. As usual. And I try to charm her into smiling. But she seems disappointed about something.

When she tells me what's wrong, my concern flees.

Proms? They all end in disaster. And I tell her so.

"What? Chad, those are fake proms," Sonny snaps in disgust after she catches on to my story of those crazy prom episodes we shoot in _MacKenzie Falls_.

We argue back and forth a bit about proms, until I've had enough of her.

So much for being tolerant.

"Good!" I tell Sonny, who's about to stalk away.

"Good!"

"Good!"

And after she's a couple of yards away from me, she calls me on her phone just to get the last "Good!"

Oh, no, you don't! And this goes on and on until she, as usual, gets the last _"Good, and goodbye!"_

_

* * *

_

Silly little Sonny.

Secret prom?

What the…?

They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with fliers that read "Secret Prom", aren't they? So I tell Sonny that when I bump into her again that day. On purpose or not, I'll never tell.

And then I get her mad again by telling her we Falls stars think it's mostly…lame.

And then we get into our _fine-good-fine-good_ fights again.

After she storms off, I feel tempted again.

Maybe crashing Sonny's secret prom thing wouldn't be a good idea.

She's not enough to tempt me.

* * *

Oh, Sonny, why did you have to wear that stupid cute mermaid outfit?

Stupid cute.

Sonny's stupid cute ways tempted me again.

I couldn't help it. I heard her prom ended in disaster, so I went over to gloat.

But then I saw her standing all alone in the prop house, looking very despondent.

And she looked stupid cute in her green mermaid costume.

I forgot all about gloating and mocking, and I went to her.

And I turned on my Chad Dylan Cooper charm and took her into my arms for a slow dance.

"This is sweet," she told me with a not-so-wide and actually tolerable smile.

And I turned on our headphones—so she wouldn't hear my heart beating wildly.

She was tempting me—again.

She doesn't mean to, though.

She can't help it, though.

She can't do anything without being cute…

Or _tempting_!

* * *

I hate Selena!

Who does she think she is?

Some kind of relationship wizard?

She has no right to tell me who I should be with!

Why did I hire her to play Sonny in my autobiographical movie?

Now she and Sonny are cahoots! Sonny's trying to tell Selena to do in MY MOVIE!

"It's okay, Chad. She's helping me out." Selena defends Sonny when her stupid cute self barges into my set and yells "Okay! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!"

And she took MY chair!

Who made her director?

"Okay, now, Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on _So Random!_. Chad is just a monster who wakes you up. Oh, and remember that you hate him! You just really, really hate him! Action." Sonny demands Selena to listen to her. In a bossy diva-esque stalk, she walks up to MY chair and sits there with her megaphone and a glare on her face. I call her name, but she stalks back and tells Selena that I am the worst actor of our generation!

The disgrace! The nerve! The outrage! I should've put Sonny on the Banned Wall from the beginning!

"BART!" I yell for my personal assistant to give me my megaphone. "CUT! CUT! STOP THE LYING!"

"You stop the lying!" Sonny yells back, storming over.

"STOP! STOP BEING—STOP! JUST STOP IT!" Selena cries. Her ears must hurt, since she's been between us the whole time we were screaming.

"Gosh, I was wrong! You two should never be together!" Selena exclaims.

FINALLY!

"Finally!" Sonny declares, echoing my thoughts, "I've been trying to tell her that all day!"

"You've been trying to tell her that? I've been trying to tell her that too!" I reply emphatically.

"Well, I told her first." Sonny retorts defiantly. "She thinks she's some relationship wizard."

"Yeah, with her wizardly magic beans." I laugh scornfully, and then I say the dumbest thing ever.

"Look, if I want to like you, then I will!"

And then Sonny says the most wonderful thing ever…wait, what am I saying?

"Yeah, and if I want to like you, then I will!"

And my stupidity factor raises other notch. "If I want to think you have pretty hair, then I will!"

"And if I want to think you have sparkly eyes, then I will!" Sonny replies with a smug smile.

Sparkly eyes? Aw, really? I mean…not that I care.

Selena looks at us with narrowed eyes and raised eyebrows. But _I am on a roll_!

"Yes, so take that, Selena!" I announce triumphantly.

"In your face, Gomez!" Sonny retaliates gleefully.

Selena gives us a super-annoyed look. "Wow. You guys got me. There's nothing going on around here at all!" She cries sarcastically and lashes out at us with the megaphone, "YOU TWO ARE...PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'M OUT OF HERE!" And with that, she storms away with her little black high heels clacking on the concrete floor. She heatedly reports that she's quitting her movie and says she was in a movie called Camp Hip-Hop. What the…?

And then Sonny and I awkwardly look at the ground. For the first time, I feel shy and inadequate around her, least of all people.

"So…do you really think I have pretty hair?" Sonny blushes and smiles up at me.

I blush and look away before returning her gaze. "I dunno…do you really think I have sparkly eyes?"

"I dunno…well one of them is." Sonny giggles.

Well, shouldn't they…_it _be?

"So…you wanna be in my movie?" I offer sheepishly. "I kind of need a Sonny."

"Fine." Sonny grins, looking away.

"Fine." I reply softly, my confidence returning.

"Good." Sonny titters shyly.

"Good." I nod and start to leave.

"Fine."

"Fine. I'll set you up an audition. Nine-oh-clock?" I inquire.

"Really, Chad?" Sonny gives me a look. "Really?"

And that look is nearly my undoing.

"Fine. You got the part." I mutter through the megaphone and slip away.

Sonny isn't quite merely intolerable anymore.

Tempting. Quite more tempting now.

* * *

What's wrong with me?

I'm not supposed to be doing this!

I wonder if Marshall will let me cancel…oh, man, I can't.

But if I do this…what's going to happen?

I know she's tempted by me. I know she likes me. She wants to kiss me—she does!

But what if…when I kiss her, I'll succumb into her charms?

Chad Dylan Cooper does not fall in love with girls. _Girls_ fall in love with Chad Dylan Cooper.

Nevertheless, I barely walk up to her door and turn on my Chad Dylan Cooper charm. When Sonny opens the door, I see a nervous look on her face.

"Wanna run lines?" I ask. "Got two tubes of lip balm. One for my upper and one for my—"

But she shakes her head frantically. "NOOO!" She screams and slams the door in my face.

"Ow! My lower," I cry out, rubbing my mouth and walking away. What's gotten into the girl?

Ah, yes. She dreamed about me, didn't she? Oh, am I brilliant.

Wait 'til we kiss.

We—_she'll_ fall in love with me!

Ah, confidence restored.

* * *

Ew, ew, _ew_.

This is even _worse_ than dog doo.

THE PIG KISSED ME, I SAY!

Stupid Sonny.

Stupid pretty hair that I longed to run my fingers through. Stupid pretty eyes that I wanted to stare in deeply…

Stupid me for being tempted.

Stupid me for being TRICKED!

I, Chad Dylan Cooper, am a total fool.

…And I take that back.

Sonny's the fool, I say! She's a fool for not falling for Chad Dylan Cooper!

My emotions are in turmoil right now.

I told myself, I told myself that I wouldn't fall in love.

And yet…I fear that I have.

And I shan't not stop loving her still.

Ugh, I have to stop talking like those people from Pride and Prejudice. This is 2009, not 18…whatever!

* * *

I hate a lot of people because of Sonny.

I hate James Conroy for almost stealing her.

I hate Selena Gomez for trying to match her up with me.

I hate Hayden the intern for kissing her. So what if it was the KISS CAM? I fired him, by the way. I was afraid he'd steal my PHONE!

I hate the pig for ruining my chances for kissing Sonny. Wait, a pig's not a person…

And right now, I _especially_ hate Gilroy Smith.

_How dare he_.

I bet it was _him_! _He_ must have secretly taped my and Sonny's second meeting!

Sonny and I look at the video clip of us together; in it my hand is around hers and my eyes are gazing into her own.

But now, Sonny looks completely horrified and speechless, and I hide my horror with a face of mere amusement, but I think I look a little embarrassed as well.

Gilroy peers down at us with a face of unabashed mischief. Gosh, Gilroy, why don't you just grow up?

"Whoa," Tawni chuckled, looking down. She seems half-amused and half-disgusted.

"Didn't know you were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in _MacKenzie Falls_ doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show…_GOTCHA_!" Gilroy cackles obnoxiously.

"_What?_" Sonny snaps incredulously, "You 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context."

"That's what I do!" Gilroy retorts with an arrogant grin, "If I were to wait for things to be in context, I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of you have little something—something going on…care to comment?" He gives us a creepy wide-eyed stare.

"Yup! Right after this commercial break!" Sonny replies abruptly and takes me by the hand, practically dragging me offstage.

"We're not taking a break." Gilroy glares at us.

"Well, we are! Let's go." Sonny answers defiantly.

Tawni, however, looks really hopeful. "You're leaving me here by myself?" She asks with an almost-smile.

"Yes." Sonny replies firmly and then we leave the room. Behind us, we hear Tawni yell "_YES!_"

"I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!" Sonny complains as I follow her into the backstage waiting room.

"Yeah, that guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing," I mutter offhandedly, fearing how we were all alone. I felt the old temptation stirring up in me, especially when I look at her.

Sonny gives me a puzzled look, and then dismisses my remark. "You know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing."

"Okay, fine, I didn't read the book," I reply uncertainly, unsure of where this discussion is headed, but then I see Sonny's pointed look. "Wha—oh, you were talking about the _us_, yeah, we don't have secrets!" I laugh nervously, gesturing between her and me. "…Do we?" I finish warily.

"Uh—I don't know…do we?" Sonny answers almost timidly. "I mean, what is that, like, us l_iking each other_?"

"Yeah, I mean, I don't really want to talk about my feelings in front of the live studio audience." I laugh again, feeling more nervous than ever as I gesture towards onstage behind us.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, I mean _especially_ feelings we've never talked about before." Sonny is laughing now and avoiding my gaze.

"Yeah…you have feelings?" I inquire cautiously, hiding all traces of hope I have in my eyes.

"Do _you_ have feelings?" Sonny prods me on.

"I—I mean, since you're really asking…it's just the two of us…" I stammer. I have butterflies in my stomach now.

"Right! I mean, there's no cameras this time or anything."

"Yeah, I really…I just…" I begin reluctantly, but thankfully Sonny is very understanding. "No, listen; it's what I'm here for. You go first."

"No, you go first." I insist.

"No, you go—OK, same time." Sonny giggles uncertainly.

"Yeah."

"One…" Sonny begins, but I miss my cue, so she continues. Her eyes wander about frantically. "Two…"

"I was gonna say that, yeah, um, two and a half?" I offer sheepishly.

And the moment of truth comes.

And I say the stupidest, stupidest, _stupidest _thing.

"…_Three. I don't like you._"

I completely, spinelessly, jelly-legged-less-ly _lie_ to her.

And the result is a blow to my heart.

She looks at me with liquefied brown eyes. Her lip trembles and her cheeks flush a dark red.

And she just turns around and walks away.

She didn't even tell me how _she_ felt.

Right now, I feel awful. I feel like the person I am—a complete _jerk_.

When I hear the door close in the distance, I cry out, "Sonny, _wait_!" And I run after her.

I run outside. It's raining in torrents. Then I see Sonny; she's standing at the edge of a curb. Her head is bowed and her arms are wound around her waist.

"Sonny, please," I run over to her, not caring about how soaked my expensive clothes are or how my hair is getting drenched.

Sonny turns around. I see water running down her cheeks, but I know they are tears. "I—I thought you liked me, Chad. I mean…I…I just…just go away!" She cried and buries her face in her hands and turns around, slamming her forehead against a cold dark green traffic light pole.

"Sonny…" I feel like crying, too. I'd cry, of course, when I've just discovered how deep my feelings run for Sonny and that I've hurt _her_. I touch her shoulder, but she jerks me off.

"Sonny, I lied. I was being…_mendacious_ with my words…and _glib_."

"_Glib? Mendacious?_" Sonny mutters and stares up at me. "I have no idea of what those fancy words mean, but they're not helping!"

"I was _vacillating_ between my feelings and my thoughts; I couldn't _decide_!" I respond with a quaver of desperation in my tone.

Sonny shook her head, frowning at me. "You mean to say you don't know if you like me or not?"

I swallow hard, feeling very, very _contrite_ right now.

"Sonny," I begin, "You are a special girl. I have never met anyone like you, and I truly am glad we met, because if we hadn't…I wouldn't have finally understood what love feels like."

Sonny's dark eyes soften, and I can tell she has stopped crying.

"I don't _like_ you, Sonny…" I finish, "I _love_ you."

Sonny's lips tremble again, but then they form into an ecstatic smile. The next thing I know, her arms are around me, her head on my chest. I return her embrace tightly, and she feels so warm that I forget how cold the rain is. We just stand there and hug, not caring that this is a public place and we are just at the edge of the curb where cars are speeding by and splashing us with dirty puddle water.

I care just a little, maybe, okay. But whatever.

We pull apart just slightly. Sonny looks up at me, and I look at her with all of the love in my heart shining in my eyes. I bow my head to press my lips to hers. I push my fingers through her sopping wet dark hair and I deepen our kiss.

And I feel like I am _soaring_.

She is _more than_ tolerable, I _believe_, and handsome _enough _to tempt me.

* * *

_**A/N: ANNNND…it is finished. :') I had fun writing this, but I bet I'll have more fun if you all just pressed the cute little button below! Please? :) Let me know what you think—nicely! :D Thank you. :)**_

_**- Heidi Erickson**_


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